how to not feel like a total hag after having a baby

Before my baby I didn’t wear much makeup. I kept things pretty simple with lip balm and 5 year old MAC powder that was on its last legs. I had infinite time to watch YouTube tutorials and apply 6 different shades of eyeshadow for a night out.

But soon after the midnight breastfeeding and lack of sleep began, dark bags appeared under my eyes and I felt like a total hag. I’d look in the mirror and think to myself, “Woof. Buzz’s girlfriend”. 

Now that I’m out of the newborn stage I’m ready to rejoin society. And I’d like to look somewhat put together. So in between naps and remembering if I brushed my teeth today, I attempt slapping on some form of makeup.

Here’s my daily routine that can get me feeling good and looking passable in under ten minutes.

dry shampoo

Thank the heavens Costco sells Batiste dry shampoo in bulk. If I have to choose between hair or makeup, usually the latter wins and dry shampoo goes into heavy rotation.


For me, this is worth the splurge. Find one that feels good on the skin and gives you the finish that you want so you can wear it on its own or as your starting base. I splurged on Laura Mercier Candleglow Soft Luminous Foundation. It feels like cream cheese frosting and I’m obsessed. 


Each time I apply this I still need to reference the step-by-step guide on the box. I don’t know if it actually makes a difference but I hear all the young kids are doing it. I bought NYX Wonder Stick in pasty white (JK) because it’s stupidly easy to blend and you don’t come out looking like Grace Jones.


Honestly, I use super old MAC blush that my Mom gave me 5 years ago and it’s still going strong. They say to throw out makeup if it’s over a year old. I say fuck it and do what you gotta do.


Behind every strong brow is a strong woman. Pick your poison from the likes of pencil, powder, gel an pomade. Powder is most user-friendly and hardest to mess up. Being fair-haired myself, I opt for a cooler tone brow definer. My go-to is Anastasia Brow Powder Duo in taupe/cool taupe.


Amp up the wattage with wanted shine by highlighting natural high points like tops of cheeks, brow arch and cupid’s bow (the part on your lip that gets sweaty real fast).


Hallelujah, gloss is in this season! Bust out your updated Bonne Bell lipsmackers to add a hint of colour to your pucker. The best part? You needn't worry about lipstick on your teeth or using lip liner.

worth the splurge


Once baby E was old enough to be left alone for a couple of hours I immediately booked an eyelash extension appointment. I feel like a Kardashian and don't have to worry about waking up with racoon eyes. You literally cannot look at your phone or tend to your child during the appointment. It's the best thing ever. 


Treat yo'self! With it's daily application, it's as close as I get to wearing perfume. I splurged on Aesop deodorant. Saje, Tarte and LAVANILA make some decadent deodorants as well at varying price points.

What's your secret to getting ready in a jiffy?

picture: pinterest

picture: pinterest

so many barres, so little alcohol

all hail the scrunchie